Here’s a collection of random, recent thoughts and observations I’ve had as a dad.

The cat plays with the baby’s toys and the baby plays with the cat’s toys. Seems about right.

My son unties my shoe and then crawls into the other room. I’m pretty sure he knows exactly what he’s doing–trying to slow daddy down. Sorry, son, it still didn’t work.

One does not have to be a preteen to be a “know it all.” It starts as soon as they learn to communicate.

I am now 99.9% convinced that boys have a gene that predisposes them to gross things. Never, before having boys in the house, did I think I would have to so often say, “Stop licking… [insert: the door, the house, your arm pit, your brother, the table, etc.].” (And I think I blocked out this part of my own childhood.)

I must be getting older. I’ll never understand the fascination kids have about watching people on YouTube playing video games they could be playing themselves. In fact, their obsession with this whole YouTube thing… Oh, wait, somebody shared a video on Facebook about a dog being funny, give me a minute. Okay, what was I saying?

Babies blowing raspberries are adorable. Until it is your own baby that you taught to blow raspberries doing it while you’re feeding him.

Farting is not as funny as you think. Why are you laughing? No, stop. Do not… *sigh* Did you just fart again? Now, repeat twenty times. Sixty, if school is out. I do not get paid enough for this.

It’s always best to watch a movie first before you show it to your children. Yes, that way you know what’s in it and whether or not it is appropriate. But more importantly, so you can have enjoyed it yourself before you get inundated with a string of questions that lasts the entire run time.

When a 6 year old asks you why something is, you can try to explain it to them, only to have them ask again and again. Or, you can simply say, “Because of magic from Narnia,” and they’ll accept it the first time. Lesson learned.

In all seriousness, though, I wouldn’t trade the dadding thing for all the riches in the world. (Except maybe in that lingering moment, right after a child has passed gas beside you for the tenth time in an hour.)